Victimhood through the lens of Camp Miasma
I recently saw Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma for a second time and felt a strong inclination to write something more than just a Letterboxd review. Currently, my circles and many others I've spoken with about this film, have seen it as a film about dissociation about the unspoken intimacies of queer sex. I don't feel that this reading does the film justice and in from my view, this is a film about victimhood.
Women's place as victims have long been the cornerstone of horror, the quintessential scream queen and final girl providing the centerpiece for many a classics. This trope has long toed the line between misogyny and empowerment depending on the film. Sydney from Scream, Laurie from Halloween, Nancy from Nightmare on Elm Street, are all fantastic representations of victims in horror. These characters all succeed in utilising control as their weapons to fight back and Miasma toys with this idea in the form of controlling one's emotional response to victimhood.
Billy mutters "why did he have to make it so good" when recollecting on her night as Squeak. This line has been bouncing around my head for well over a month now and refuses to grow any quieter. This film dissects the ways in which SA plagues and condemns us for our emotions, cursing us for ever feeling anything but horror, disgust, anguish. Those emotions are true yes, both Billy and Kris recounting their fear and confusion in those moments, but it doesn't stop it from feeling good.
Dissociation is something that many people are all too used to, especially in conversations of trauma and sex and is one aspect that Miasma explicitly dives into. We claw for an escape, find somewhere else to be, ensure that for a moment we can be anywhere but here. And it works. Not only does it work the once, but it continues to work, we continue to find solace in that escape until it's all we know. As Kris lies on the floor, recounting her dream of being chased, being hunted, the blood, the viscera, it's a way to take control over her trauma. Now of course, Kris is never explicitly stated to be a victim of SA but in every way imaginable her character closely resembles that of Squeak so that jump in conclusion is much less a jump and more a small side step. Either way, the same can be said for Billy/Squeak anyways so I digress. Kris has tried to find safety in her dissociation, find comfort in enjoying the aspects of her victimhood before, tried to take control over her emotional and physical response to it all. But. It's never really worked. She's been forced to confront these emotions, seen through the flashes of Little Death during her initial sex scene, and has collapsed inwards. Trauma perpetuates across everything, the escape we crave from dissociation can only bring us so far. Kris' description of what she craves from Little Death hunting her, is mirrored in Billy's own descriptions later on in the film.
Since my own trauma, I've always desired pain, lusted over fear or been tempted by the idea of being viewed as pathetic and so on. These ideals are not uncommon in survivors of SA and are intrinsic ways we attempt to redirect our pain, trauma and terror, into something more manageable, more desirable. Miasma perfectly represents these ideals, with desire being a cornerstone of the film. These themes are even represented in one of the first lines between Squeak and Julie in the van.
"What do you think it feels like?" "To lose your virginity?" "To die."
To be raped is to be killed, in both mind and body. But that doesn't mean we are broken forever, it doesn't mean we can't open our eyes once more, to find safety in the people right besides us.
Billy's treatment of Kris throughout this film consistently makes me cry, even from just thinking about it. This film doesn't just seek to highlight the more awful aspects of victimhood, it also aims to provide avenues of comfort for our protagonists. Billy's role in processing Kris' trauma is beautifully handled. Their relationship is one of safety amidst chaos, lust amidst fear and most importantly, control amidst our history.
Unlike some, I don't view the ending as bleak or conforming to the nature of our trauma, instead I view it as the beauty of pain shared. It was a deliberate choice to have not only Kris stabbed and killed, but Billy too at the moment of their climax. Part of what cuts me so deeply about this film, is their relationship. It's one I've always craved, sick of finding myself in the place of being too much, my trauma too burdensome to handle. From a more optimistic mindset than the one I have currently writing this, this film speaks of hope. It is a reminder to be hopeful, to remember that we aren't truly dead forever and if it gets too real, we can always turn it off.